When it rains, it pours

There are certain experiences intrinsic to being abroad that even the most independent and adventurous of travellers or expats can identify with, and I think one of those is having moments of mini-breakdown. This is where you get overwhelmed by negativity, frustrated by the things that bother you about the region you´re in, and you even know you are OVER-reacting to what set you off ... or worse yet, do not even know what set you off.


This fits in with my general (as of yet unpublished) ¨theory of undulating feelings¨, that people who experience lower lows in life are more capable of correspondingly experiencing higher highs. This comes up usually when I am talking through a friend’s personal or familial problems and trying to come up with meaning for why we experience misery and sometimes the kindest of people are faced with the most unfair life situations. But I´m getting off topic. Within this theory of undulating feelings is a subset phenomenon of being outside one´s normal way of life, and for me being abroad presents a time that I feel that I have a lot more ¨high highs¨ but also ¨low lows¨ -- those general hyperactive responses (like small things can make me disproportionately happy or sad or frustrated). Although I have yet to experience any type of misery, AND I haven’t been really moving around at all, I find that just about once a week I get this wave of negative emotional outpour. But within a breath of that, I can feel really happy and completely content with the world (a high indicator of happiness in my mind). It´s not just hormones, boys, so don´t even think it.

To illustrate my point - in general, things are peachy keen great here for me in Ecuador for the happy feely goody things I´ve depicted in previous posts. But I have experienced a couple different (and truly fleeting) moments of anger or sadness, where I go off in my head about all the little things that bug me: Latino men of all ages and status who whistle and cat-call constantly at any female-like-being (which I happen to be), dogs in the street (I was too cheap to get the rabies vaccination so I´m convinced one is going to come after me), Ecua-time (everyone is always late, except for the bus that we paid for a couple weeks back that left 5 minutes early without us though with our money), the gringo tax concept, having to haggle for prices, the number of robberies and thefts we hear about, did I mention men being completely disgusting? I say all of this with a light heart - any place has it´s issues, many of these things are totally out of context, most were told to me before I came and how to properly interpret them (such as men´s behavior - seriously the machismo is harmless, and it´s generally safe here as long as you don´t put yourself in known harm), etc etc etc. Nothing is that bad, but I just get this little outpour of one thing that sets of a train of such thoughts including some that really do not make any sense, and I´m all pissed and cranky.

Ironically, these have always taken place at times when the weather suddenly changed. Thus the title of my post, as it really does serve a good metaphor (granted I´m ruining it by stating the connection so clearly). But to digress, you all know how important weather is to me so I´m not that excited about how quickly it can go from HOT sunshine to cold TORRENTIAL rain. And we´re not talking Seattle drizzle, it´s like liquid hail. Dang rain season near the Ecuador where you have to be prepared with sunscreen and rain gear each day. But really, the weather is generally pleasant, it´s just interesting to me that it can switch extremes just as much as my own emotions can do the same.

I meant to post this a couple days back - I´ve already left my temporary home of Cuenca where the weather is probably either hot & sunny or pouring rain, but I´m about 5 hours south in wamr Loja. I´m off to Vilcabamba, a ¨backpackers resort¨ and looking forward to a couple days of being totally tranquillo: definitely consistent weather and mood while I relax in a pool at our hosteria and hike in this peaceful valley. Ahhhhh.